Cursed to Be a Disappointment

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Parts 1 & 2 by John Tiffany

Are you aware how stupid you’ve been? Bravery doesn’t forgive stupidity. — Professor McGonagall

Haters gonna hate! I did not expect that I would dislike this play so much. I refuse to place it in league with the actual seven books. I nearly marked this as DNF, were it not for the fact that my previous boss at work had graciously lent it to me.

I believe that I’m not being objective right now because irritation is clouding my judgement. All I know is that Albus Severus Potter never failed to fill my heart with scorn and contempt. His decision making process was remarkably pathetic at best and downright infuriating at worst. There were so many times that I wanted—yearned—to throw this ridiculously expensive text across the room, through the window, and onto the gritty pavement outside.

Please believe me that I did my best to enjoy the story. Unfortunately, I was overwhelmed by this feeling of detachment towards the characters. It was hard for me to reconcile their dialogues to the people they were 19 years ago. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were just…there, and I really wasn’t invested in their story anymore. I now realize that other readers were right to describe this play as fan-fiction; there were indeed so many conveniently executed plot holes involving Cedric Diggory, Voldemort, and those blasted Time-Turners.

As my rant comes to a close, I hope that I can redeem myself by saying—with a small smile—that I liked Scorpius. Honestly, he was my only ray of sunshine, my rare source of comfort and fanboy feels. His pedantic demeanor and love for books inevitably reminded me of my adoration for Hermione, and I particularly admired his willingness to express his affection for Albus. Scorpius basically changed my opinion of the Malfoy name for the better, and for that I am grateful.

All things considered, I am not satisfied nor happy with how the story turned out. It would probably be better if I didn’t read it at all. Nevertheless, I assure you that my love for Lady Rowling and her wizarding world remain unscathed. In fact, I shall begin reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire to purge myself of remaining toxic emotions.